i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
