The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
