He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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