What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
