East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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