if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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