at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
