i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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