i already hear my dad disowning me
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
