I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
