hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
