He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
