no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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