i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
