meet me or not, i'm out of control
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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