I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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