Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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