So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
