Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
