I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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