He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
