how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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