You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
