So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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