Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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