do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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