Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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