i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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