I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
