FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
