Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
