once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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