everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
