Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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