Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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