i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
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