if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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