are you still at the devil's house?
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
