her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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