Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize