the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
