I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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