i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
