I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
