i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Sext me about skeletons
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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