so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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