I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
