I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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