If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
