I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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