Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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